23 August 2006
21 August 2006
Home Improvements
There I was thinking that for us, a home improvement was merely one of us making a decision about something. I was wrong. So, the new kitchen and bathroom project has begun. I think it's more like an art statement than a renovation, it's where a team of burly looking chaps take a PERFECTLY FINE kitchen and a PERFECTLY FINE bathroom, and replace it. They are probably practicing for a job somewhere else and using our building for their apprenticeship. Ah, perhaps that was unfair... but please, judge for yourselves.
Kitchen before improvements
Kitchen after improvements
Ok, so I suppose I should give them a chance to clear up the art and rearrange the bricks and mortar. It's going to take them 6 weeks to remove good quality 1960s wooden fittings, and replace them with 2006 MDF chipboard cupboards. The good news is that we don't own the place... :)
As a result of all this, Katya and I have had to make a kitchen out of one side of the lounge.
I'll take all the blame for the mess.
Thankfully, we can both get lunch at Kolding Hospital, and costs about £1 for a plate of really food. That's a step up from ASDA beans for me.
On a completely different note, it has to be said that I married the most amazing woman. A real sweetheart, couldn't have found better if I tried. She's fairly patient with a man who has been independant for so long... but the key is accepting one another, and not trying to change one another. (This will be where the hard work and patience comes in, but we will journey along the road and work hard at things)
She is presently on a course in the Kolding Hospital and has been performing hand surgery procedures to join severed nerves back together. Amazing stuff, really. It's a little easier to discuss than descriptions of how catheters are inserted. Ouch.
It was Katya's 26th birthday on Sunday! We had Katya's Mum, Larisa, Dasha, Maria, Kath and Jens over for Sushi, cheesecake and coffee. Kath commented that we seem to have filled the apartment fairly well. Let's hope we don't fill it with junk, for this makes moving again a nightmare!
We are very happy with Roisin McNulty's wedding pictures! Roisin, you're a STAR. You're also a very talented photographer.
My brother and best man. Sweet.(Stephanie and Davina)
Aside from all the above stuff, I'm still continuing with the job search and becoming a little frustrated at the time it takes to register with the different recruitment sites. Most of them don't accept a CV in MS Word format so a custom online CV has to be completed for each different site and there is no set standard for it. Since the sites are in Danish and I have not yet begun the Danish Language school, it takes me just that little bit longer to complete the online CVs. Just a little bit longer...
Still, I can't complain about things. I discovered that my job searches were severely limited because I had my firefox browser language setting on English instead of Danish interface... all this from a person who has worked in IT for 6 years... one wonders... so off I go to the library now to continue with the job search.
Here is a little about where we live... in the meantime, adios!
http://www.visitkolding.dk
Kitchen before improvements
Kitchen after improvements
Ok, so I suppose I should give them a chance to clear up the art and rearrange the bricks and mortar. It's going to take them 6 weeks to remove good quality 1960s wooden fittings, and replace them with 2006 MDF chipboard cupboards. The good news is that we don't own the place... :)
As a result of all this, Katya and I have had to make a kitchen out of one side of the lounge.
I'll take all the blame for the mess.
Thankfully, we can both get lunch at Kolding Hospital, and costs about £1 for a plate of really food. That's a step up from ASDA beans for me.
On a completely different note, it has to be said that I married the most amazing woman. A real sweetheart, couldn't have found better if I tried. She's fairly patient with a man who has been independant for so long... but the key is accepting one another, and not trying to change one another. (This will be where the hard work and patience comes in, but we will journey along the road and work hard at things)
She is presently on a course in the Kolding Hospital and has been performing hand surgery procedures to join severed nerves back together. Amazing stuff, really. It's a little easier to discuss than descriptions of how catheters are inserted. Ouch.
It was Katya's 26th birthday on Sunday! We had Katya's Mum, Larisa, Dasha, Maria, Kath and Jens over for Sushi, cheesecake and coffee. Kath commented that we seem to have filled the apartment fairly well. Let's hope we don't fill it with junk, for this makes moving again a nightmare!
We are very happy with Roisin McNulty's wedding pictures! Roisin, you're a STAR. You're also a very talented photographer.
My brother and best man. Sweet.(Stephanie and Davina)
Aside from all the above stuff, I'm still continuing with the job search and becoming a little frustrated at the time it takes to register with the different recruitment sites. Most of them don't accept a CV in MS Word format so a custom online CV has to be completed for each different site and there is no set standard for it. Since the sites are in Danish and I have not yet begun the Danish Language school, it takes me just that little bit longer to complete the online CVs. Just a little bit longer...
Still, I can't complain about things. I discovered that my job searches were severely limited because I had my firefox browser language setting on English instead of Danish interface... all this from a person who has worked in IT for 6 years... one wonders... so off I go to the library now to continue with the job search.
Here is a little about where we live... in the meantime, adios!
http://www.visitkolding.dk
14 August 2006
Chopped 'n Registered
Nice,
Hair cuts here cost about 12 quid. Hair clippers cost 9 quid. The choice was clear. Look like convict though. Katya says I look like a "New Russian" ?
Really good thing happened this week. I got my Danish CPR number. If you don't have this number, you don't exist. You can't order any goods, can't open a bank account, can't get credit, battle with job applications on websites which insist on an applicant being registered, can't register for the language school and you can't even take out a library book. However, once you are registered, you are traceable so I now have to behave myself and be nice to people wherever I go. mmm.
Katya's birthday on 20th August... will have to plan something nice.
August 10th
To whom this may concern...
Mr-Danish-Resident is doing fine, whilst his wife tried to sleep in the midst of all the noise and mayhem next door. They are renovating ALL the apartments in this residence. In Denmark, people act like sheep. Nobody does anything out of line or sorts. If they do, it is only an indication that ALL people will act in this way, or share the same opinion, so the person who appears to take the initiative for a thing, is merely acting as a starting point for the mass movement of the actions required to get a thing moving, or to have an action acted upon. In this case, someone living in the Kommune on this building said "We will have our bathroom and kitchen renovated because it is out of date with Danish fashion, and is not the acceptable thing anymore", so speaking on behalf of the masses who live in the 24 apartments forming this residence, it was taken that ALL kitchens and ALL bathrooms were to be upgraded. I have added the suspects name to my little Black Book.
The problem.
I am African. I can cook anywhere, even under trees, preferrably Bayleaf trees, but I suppose any tree may do. What someone does to my kitchen, is of no concern to me. In the South African Defence Force I ate raw potatoes warmed up in an aluminium pan which made them look like they were cooking, and hence Psychologically, they did not seem as crunchy. The beetroot was another story. We played cricket with it.
(picture of South African dinner, just for effect) I digress, but the point I make is that kitchens can be ripped apart, and I will never care, as long as the fridge does not actually warm up the food, the results of everything else are inconsequential.
However, having come from Africa, and having been to see the animals on the Serengetti at dinner time all gathered warily around the watering holes of the dense African bush, one becomes protective of the supply of water, and indeed the environment. Now, we have a bath and this reminds me of my own little piece of Africa in Denmark, for I can wallow for hours like a hippo (albiet, I am not going to be mistaken for one:-
1 - because I am white (but this is not to be mistaken for racism, for a hippo is neither black nor white)
2 - I am of athletic composition, hence I am slightly slimmer than a hippo bit fatter than a stick insect but I digress.
The Danes don't like baths, they have wetrooms. Now, a wetroom is a bathroom, which has a slightly sloped floor, the slope angled gently towards a drain cover in the corner of the room. It's like a place where an English person would ask their incontinent geriatric relatives to stand during a visit in case they leaked onto the new carpet in the lounge. The Danes shower themselves and feel free to spray water all over the bathroom, somehow miraculously missing the roll of toilet paper with the spray. After their shower they stoop down to squeegee the floor with something similar to that which an English person may use to clear water off a newly washed window with. A sort of hand held car windscreen wiper with a super strong rubber blade.
Not good. To have to clean a whole room, when all one has done was to take a mere shower?
I have no choice, I have to accept that the bath is going to be ripped out and a wetroom-Danish-shower-dammit-thingy is going to be built in it's stead when there was nothing wrong with the old kitchen, or the bathroom. Nothing. Nada. Zulch. NeMnoga. Niks. Niet.
Ah, well perhaps I'll get used to it. The noise is a bit grim... from 07:00 they start into the adjoining wall with a jack hammer. I often wondered why they called it a jack hammer. Tried a little research, which only brought me to www.jackhammer.co.za, not quite the same noise, bit perhaps a mere rearrangement of the composition? Sometimes, our kitchen tiles pop off the wall during this jack-hammering, nice touch. Only in Denmark can they take 6 weeks to renovate a bathroom and a kitchen. There's no place like home.
On the bright side, we procurred a second hand leather and oak lounge suite from www.dba.dk (a sort of non-eBay site ?) for about £45. The seller bought it in 1980 for £1600, so I think we may have bagged a bargain, except for the african animals that had to die in the making thereof, but that's another story for another time. It's comfy.
That's about all my news for now. Got a call from Reading from an Englishman who wants a group of Scandinavians supported... time will tell if I get another interview, so until then, I plod on with emailing (spamming) the world with my CV, and a ridiculous cover letter.
This weekend I am going to replace a CV joint on my car. That will most probably be the topic of my next email, as it should prove to be an interesting excercise, never having changed one in my life. The question is, do we drink Whisky before the job has been completed?
:)
Davey
3rd August 2006
Hello,
How is married life you ask? It's great. One of Katya's friends (from USA) got married last Friday and we were invited to the Ceremony, the after party and the after after party. It was good. Imported American wedding culture, imported Bridesmaids dresses, imported Bridesmaids, imported Pastor from California, but no imported beer. Best speech of the night I say, was one of the bride's friends whose words to the Bride were "Don't try to understand each other, try to accept reach other, for if you try to change each other, then you will end up becoming each other, and this is not why you met in the first place... to fall in love with oneself makes no sense at all". Great. I commended her later on a great speech, and noted that she was not the shyest woman I had ever had the pleasure of meeting... then she told me she worked in PR... rather telling. She went on to dispense some rather poignant career advice in my general direction.
The Danes.
They are a mad bunch. They have something called Janteloven. They applaud in unison, whatever they do, a rather deep-rooted trait. Sort of like a Danish 10 commandments to counter individualism.
1 You must not believe that you are anybody
2 You must not believe that you are as important as us
3 You must not believe that you are cleverer than us
4 You must not deceive yourself that you are better than us
5 You must not believe that you know more than us
6 You must not believe that you are more than us
7 You must not believe that you are good at anything
8 You must not laugh at us
9 You must not think that anyone cares about you
10 You must not believe that you can teach us anything
The versions have a flip side
1 You must believe everybody is somebody
2 You must believe everyone is as important as everyone else
3 You may be cleverer, but this does not make you a better person
4 You must believe everyone is as good as you
5 You must believe everyone knows something worth knowing
6 You must think of everyone as your equal
7 You must believe everyone can be good at something
8 You must not laugh at others
9 You must think that everyone is worth caring about
10 You can learn something from everyone
(The above commandments are an extract from Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes)
You may be bad at something, but I’m definitely not going to tell it to you. I’ll tell you that it is an interesting way of doing the thing, then set about trying to discover how to do it better, patent the idea, call it “Intricate Danish innovation” Brand it, and when you suspect me one day of stealing your idea, I’ll tell you that A – I have the patent so I’m making the money, and B – I learned it from society. You will never hear from me that you are stupid, and your ideas are crap, you will gain this knowledge by a process of osmosis or something like that.
Interesting.
Otherwise, things in Denmark work, but process and procedure are the order of the day.
Flexibility of rules is not an option. We bought a mattress. Delivery was £20. I asked that instead of it being delivered to our home, that it be delivered to the shop for collection by us so that we would not have to pay delivery (Yes, scheister). I was told that they don’t do this, as it would make the shop look untidy. I said that a condition of purchase would be that it be delivered to the shop. Begruntled, the salesman said they could make an exception and told me several times that they don’t do this. I heard him the first time. Delivery day came, I trundled car and happy bouncy trailer along to said shop, but mattress was not there. Said salesman was not present. I was told by another, that said salesman was such a good salesman and would never have become confused over such details. I was being called a liar. It was then said that “somebody” must have misunderstood. I was being called a liar. So, I gave them options… either they knock off the cost of my gas to drive to the factory and I collect it there, or they deliver for free. “There is a £20 delivery fee.” Yes, you told me this, but here I am, wife – car – trailer and no mattress” Somebody misunderstood. “Yes, so I’m told” Would you like it delivered? Yes, for free. “There is a £20 delivery fee.” No, free, not fee. You are not going to charge me for delivery. Well, it’s not in our conditions. Well, my conditions say that if I am not happy, I cancel orders and you get no money from me, nor do you get repeat business from me, or any of my friends, or people that my friends know, or even great distanced acquaintances of the acquaintances of distant friends that my distant friend’s far removed friends and distanced friends that my acquaintances once had, knew only very remotely through a distanced friend or long past acquaintance, savvy?? Ikke Forstor? Ok, me no happy, you no money, capish?
“Ok, but we cannot deliver it up to the third floor, because we have not got insurance for that… “
(boom……….)
Long and short… got mattress delivered for free to third floor.
What does it take…
Denmark has no ASDA. No cheap beans. Nada. Wine… sometimes they have good specials. This is important because when you don’t have a job, you need to drink wine. Also, one can buy 7.7% alc vol beer for 27p a bottle. Gets one rather pie-eyed, and the brake fluidy taste eventually wears off.
Otherwise, have not heeded all marital advice, and tried on several occasions to understand my wife, but it fails me miserably. (note - advice not always heeded) I need to perform tasks and household duties, and so does she, except that these duties are usually issued by my wife to both herself and myself. I am reminded on the very first occasion possible that a job issued to me has not been completed.
She seems to complete all her tasks, timeously, or at least seems to come up with much sharper responses as to why a job has not been completed by her such as…”I just worked 2 24hr shifts this week and you are not working”. Fair enough, not much I can say about that. It’s like a trump card. “I give you pocket money, and you’re going to work for it”
I just can’t win it. I really do want a job. However when my wife issues me with a job, the outcome is sometimes delayed.
Time
I am South African. If you ask me to do something, my response will always be..”I’ll do it just now” Just now, means that I am thinking of something else, and the thing that I have been asked to do will be filed in the order that the requests were heard. FIFO. It will not be processed because I am still thinking of the other thing. It means that I do not consider any request to be immediately important, but there may be exceptions to this rule. Once I have a cup of coffee and think about all the things I have prioritized in the “Just Now” category, I may shuffle them a bit according to my own agenda, such as having another beer, chatting on MSN and then hanging up the washing, after I have given my Toyota (bless it’s precious soul) a good scrub and engine overhaul. Either way, you may not receive the required result from your seemingly urgent request.
You don’t know what goes on inside my head, so how can you tell me what is urgent and what is not. I may be thinking of a solution to the volatile political situation in Somalia, and you may never be aware of this. You may never understand that despite the fact that I think of these things, whether or not a solution is ever brought to the surface, is a matter of freedom of thought for me, and is my own prerogative but it still makes me a busy person, even if I am virtually busy.
This brings me back to the deliverance of task performance. I have another mode. “Now Now” This is an urgent mode for me. It means that once I am finished my coffee, I may not overhaul my Toyota engine before I put out the washing to dry, but I may watch a DVD and go to town to do some shopping, for beer at 27p per bottle. It doesn’t mean that your task is less important than the things I have going on in my head, it simply means that it’s not MORE important that the things going on inside my head. It’s definitely not less important.
Another mode…”I’ll do it NOW”. Well, this is not strictly true. It means that after the currently running event, such as a 3 hour movie that only started 5 minutes ago, yours is next in line. I may stop the movie in the middle to break for beer or wine or both, but I will process your request once the movie ends. The movie needs to continue until the very last piece of music ends and the titles have disappeared. I may even watch the making of the movie (usually another 50 minutes or so, with trailers), after the end of the movie, because it is still the same DVD, but I will not watch another movie, that would be cheating and unfair. I may have more beer during this time.
The mode “Ok, I’ll do it immediately”. Usually I’m in loads and loads of trouble at this stage. Things get done, stars fall from the sky and there are fireworks. All jobs are placed on hold until your job is completed. Once completed to industrial standards of satisfaction, health and safety, UN Regulations 65/2a and a fine eye, I ask you several times whether you think the job has been done entirely to YOUR satisfaction, and proceed to remind you of how well I did that job… for at least a month or perhaps several. I remind you of this completed task at parties, Easter and New Year. Birthdays are also good.
An example to the above would be this email. I’m supposed to be applying for a residence permit this morning, but I said I would “do it now”. I’ve run out of excuses and coffee, I think, so I had better get myself and my papers into their respective positions.
I’ll write more later, but to answer the question, married life is great.
Davey Crockett
How is married life you ask? It's great. One of Katya's friends (from USA) got married last Friday and we were invited to the Ceremony, the after party and the after after party. It was good. Imported American wedding culture, imported Bridesmaids dresses, imported Bridesmaids, imported Pastor from California, but no imported beer. Best speech of the night I say, was one of the bride's friends whose words to the Bride were "Don't try to understand each other, try to accept reach other, for if you try to change each other, then you will end up becoming each other, and this is not why you met in the first place... to fall in love with oneself makes no sense at all". Great. I commended her later on a great speech, and noted that she was not the shyest woman I had ever had the pleasure of meeting... then she told me she worked in PR... rather telling. She went on to dispense some rather poignant career advice in my general direction.
The Danes.
They are a mad bunch. They have something called Janteloven. They applaud in unison, whatever they do, a rather deep-rooted trait. Sort of like a Danish 10 commandments to counter individualism.
1 You must not believe that you are anybody
2 You must not believe that you are as important as us
3 You must not believe that you are cleverer than us
4 You must not deceive yourself that you are better than us
5 You must not believe that you know more than us
6 You must not believe that you are more than us
7 You must not believe that you are good at anything
8 You must not laugh at us
9 You must not think that anyone cares about you
10 You must not believe that you can teach us anything
The versions have a flip side
1 You must believe everybody is somebody
2 You must believe everyone is as important as everyone else
3 You may be cleverer, but this does not make you a better person
4 You must believe everyone is as good as you
5 You must believe everyone knows something worth knowing
6 You must think of everyone as your equal
7 You must believe everyone can be good at something
8 You must not laugh at others
9 You must think that everyone is worth caring about
10 You can learn something from everyone
(The above commandments are an extract from Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes)
You may be bad at something, but I’m definitely not going to tell it to you. I’ll tell you that it is an interesting way of doing the thing, then set about trying to discover how to do it better, patent the idea, call it “Intricate Danish innovation” Brand it, and when you suspect me one day of stealing your idea, I’ll tell you that A – I have the patent so I’m making the money, and B – I learned it from society. You will never hear from me that you are stupid, and your ideas are crap, you will gain this knowledge by a process of osmosis or something like that.
Interesting.
Otherwise, things in Denmark work, but process and procedure are the order of the day.
Flexibility of rules is not an option. We bought a mattress. Delivery was £20. I asked that instead of it being delivered to our home, that it be delivered to the shop for collection by us so that we would not have to pay delivery (Yes, scheister). I was told that they don’t do this, as it would make the shop look untidy. I said that a condition of purchase would be that it be delivered to the shop. Begruntled, the salesman said they could make an exception and told me several times that they don’t do this. I heard him the first time. Delivery day came, I trundled car and happy bouncy trailer along to said shop, but mattress was not there. Said salesman was not present. I was told by another, that said salesman was such a good salesman and would never have become confused over such details. I was being called a liar. It was then said that “somebody” must have misunderstood. I was being called a liar. So, I gave them options… either they knock off the cost of my gas to drive to the factory and I collect it there, or they deliver for free. “There is a £20 delivery fee.” Yes, you told me this, but here I am, wife – car – trailer and no mattress” Somebody misunderstood. “Yes, so I’m told” Would you like it delivered? Yes, for free. “There is a £20 delivery fee.” No, free, not fee. You are not going to charge me for delivery. Well, it’s not in our conditions. Well, my conditions say that if I am not happy, I cancel orders and you get no money from me, nor do you get repeat business from me, or any of my friends, or people that my friends know, or even great distanced acquaintances of the acquaintances of distant friends that my distant friend’s far removed friends and distanced friends that my acquaintances once had, knew only very remotely through a distanced friend or long past acquaintance, savvy?? Ikke Forstor? Ok, me no happy, you no money, capish?“Ok, but we cannot deliver it up to the third floor, because we have not got insurance for that… “
(boom……….)
Long and short… got mattress delivered for free to third floor.
What does it take…
Denmark has no ASDA. No cheap beans. Nada. Wine… sometimes they have good specials. This is important because when you don’t have a job, you need to drink wine. Also, one can buy 7.7% alc vol beer for 27p a bottle. Gets one rather pie-eyed, and the brake fluidy taste eventually wears off.Otherwise, have not heeded all marital advice, and tried on several occasions to understand my wife, but it fails me miserably. (note - advice not always heeded) I need to perform tasks and household duties, and so does she, except that these duties are usually issued by my wife to both herself and myself. I am reminded on the very first occasion possible that a job issued to me has not been completed.
She seems to complete all her tasks, timeously, or at least seems to come up with much sharper responses as to why a job has not been completed by her such as…”I just worked 2 24hr shifts this week and you are not working”. Fair enough, not much I can say about that. It’s like a trump card. “I give you pocket money, and you’re going to work for it”
I just can’t win it. I really do want a job. However when my wife issues me with a job, the outcome is sometimes delayed.
Time
I am South African. If you ask me to do something, my response will always be..”I’ll do it just now” Just now, means that I am thinking of something else, and the thing that I have been asked to do will be filed in the order that the requests were heard. FIFO. It will not be processed because I am still thinking of the other thing. It means that I do not consider any request to be immediately important, but there may be exceptions to this rule. Once I have a cup of coffee and think about all the things I have prioritized in the “Just Now” category, I may shuffle them a bit according to my own agenda, such as having another beer, chatting on MSN and then hanging up the washing, after I have given my Toyota (bless it’s precious soul) a good scrub and engine overhaul. Either way, you may not receive the required result from your seemingly urgent request.
You don’t know what goes on inside my head, so how can you tell me what is urgent and what is not. I may be thinking of a solution to the volatile political situation in Somalia, and you may never be aware of this. You may never understand that despite the fact that I think of these things, whether or not a solution is ever brought to the surface, is a matter of freedom of thought for me, and is my own prerogative but it still makes me a busy person, even if I am virtually busy.
This brings me back to the deliverance of task performance. I have another mode. “Now Now” This is an urgent mode for me. It means that once I am finished my coffee, I may not overhaul my Toyota engine before I put out the washing to dry, but I may watch a DVD and go to town to do some shopping, for beer at 27p per bottle. It doesn’t mean that your task is less important than the things I have going on in my head, it simply means that it’s not MORE important that the things going on inside my head. It’s definitely not less important.
Another mode…”I’ll do it NOW”. Well, this is not strictly true. It means that after the currently running event, such as a 3 hour movie that only started 5 minutes ago, yours is next in line. I may stop the movie in the middle to break for beer or wine or both, but I will process your request once the movie ends. The movie needs to continue until the very last piece of music ends and the titles have disappeared. I may even watch the making of the movie (usually another 50 minutes or so, with trailers), after the end of the movie, because it is still the same DVD, but I will not watch another movie, that would be cheating and unfair. I may have more beer during this time.
The mode “Ok, I’ll do it immediately”. Usually I’m in loads and loads of trouble at this stage. Things get done, stars fall from the sky and there are fireworks. All jobs are placed on hold until your job is completed. Once completed to industrial standards of satisfaction, health and safety, UN Regulations 65/2a and a fine eye, I ask you several times whether you think the job has been done entirely to YOUR satisfaction, and proceed to remind you of how well I did that job… for at least a month or perhaps several. I remind you of this completed task at parties, Easter and New Year. Birthdays are also good.
An example to the above would be this email. I’m supposed to be applying for a residence permit this morning, but I said I would “do it now”. I’ve run out of excuses and coffee, I think, so I had better get myself and my papers into their respective positions.
I’ll write more later, but to answer the question, married life is great.
Davey Crockett
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